1. Which path to chose for going back to home after completely drunk?
Once it happened that Mulla Nasruddin and his friend were drinking in a pub. They came out, completely drunk, and Nasruddin was an old, experienced drinker. The other was new, so the other was affected more.
So the other asked, ”Now I cannot see, I cannot hear, I cannot even walk rightly. How I will reach my home? You tell me, Nasruddin please direct me. How I should reach my home?”
Nasruddin said, ”First you go. After so many steps you will come to a point where there are two ways: one goes to the right, the other goes to the left. You go to the left because that which goes to the right doesn’t exist. I have been many times on that right also, but now I am an experienced man. You will see two paths. Choose the left one; don’t choose the right. That right doesn’t exist. Many times I have gone on it, and then you never reach, you never reach your home.”
2. When to stop drinking?
Once Nasruddin was teaching his son the first lessons of drinking.
So he told him… The son was asking, he was curious.
He asked that” When is one to stop?”
Nasruddin said, ”Look at that table. Four persons are sitting there. When you start seeing eight, stop!”
The boy said, ”But father, there are only two persons sitting!”
3. Do good and throw it in the well
Mulla Nasruddin used to visit a saint. He visited for many, many days. And the saint was a silent one; he will not speak anything. Then Mulla Nasruddin had to say, he had to ask, ”I have been coming again and again, waiting that you will say something, and you have not said anything. And unless you say, I cannot understand, so just give me a message for my life, a direction so that I can move in that direction.”
So that Sufi sage said, ”NEKI KAR KUYEN MAY DAL: Do good and throw it in the well.” It is one of the oldest Sufi sayings: ”Do good and throw it in the well.” It means to do good and forget it immediately; don’t carry that ”I have done good.”
So next day Mulla Nasruddin helped one old woman to cross the road, and then he pushed her into the well.
”NEKI KAR KUYEN MAY DAL: DO good and throw it in the well.”
4. I dont like such type of jokes
Mulla Nasruddin was sitting in a pub drinking. He was not a brave man, one of the most cowardly. But alcohol gave him courage. And then a man, a giant of a man, entered the pub ferociously looking, dangerous, looked like a murderer. At any other time, in his senses, Mulla Nasruddin would have been afraid. But now he was drunk, so he was not afraid at all.
That ferocious-looking man came near to Mulla and seeing that he is not afraid at all he stomped on his feet.
Mulla got angry, furious, and he said, ”What are you doing? Are you doing that on purpose or it is just a sort of joke?” But by this time, his stomping on his feet, Mulla was brought back from his alcohol. He was brought back; he came to his senses.
But he has said, ”What are you doing – on purpose or it is just a sort of joke?”
The man said, ”On purpose.”
Mulla Nasruddin said, ”Then thank you. On purpose, it is okay, because
I don’t like such type jokes”
5. Vengeance – Nasruddin style
One day, Mullah Nasruddin heard a knock on his door. He opened the door and found his daughter standing there crying with a bruise on her eye. “What happened?” Nasruddin asked. She said that she got into a fight with her husband and he beat her. To his, Nasruddin responded by slapping his daughter in the face. He closed the door and quickly called her husband. When he picked up the phone, he told his daughter’s husband, “I heard about what you did, but I’ve had my vengeance – because you hit my daughter, I slapped your wife, take that!”.
6. Deductive reasoning
“How old are you, Mullah?”, a boy asked.
Mullah Nasruddin responded, “3 years older than my brother”.
“How do you know that?” the boy asked.
“Reasoning!”, said Mullah Nasruddin. “Last year, I heard my brother tell someone that I was 2 years older than him. A year has passed. Now, I am older by one year. I shall soon be old enough to be his grandfather!”
7. Tit for tat
Mullah Nasruddin went into a shop to buy a pair of trousers. Once inside, he changed his mind and chose a cloak instead, which was at the same price. Picking up the cloak, he left the shop.
“Wait! You have not paid!”, shouted the merchant.
The Mullah responded, “I left you the trousers, which is the same value as the cloak”.
“But you did not pay for the trousers either”, the confused merchant said.
“Of course not”, said Mullah Nasruddin. “Why should I pay for something that I did not want to buy?”.
8. Moon More useful than sun?
One day Mullah Nasruddin entered his favorite teahouse and declared, “The moon is more useful than the sun”. An old man asked, “Why Mullah?”. Mullah Nasruddin replied, “Because we need the light more during the night than during the day”.
9. Replacing my donkey
“You may have lost your donkey, but you don’t have to grieve over it more than you did about the loss of your first wife”, a villager told a sad Mullah Nasruddin. “Ah”, said Mullah Nasruddin, “but if you remember, when I lost my wife, all the villagers said we will find you someone else, so far, nobody has offered to replace my donkey”.
10. Wet nasruddin
Mullah Nasruddin nearly fell into a pool one day. A man whom he knows was nearby and saved him from falling in. Every time, this man met Nasruddin, he would remind him of the event and how he saved him. After several times, Nasruddin took him to the water and jumped in. He stood with his head just above the water, and shouted, “Now I am as wet as I would have been if you had not saved me, so leave me alone!”